Its hard how I sometimes sit thinking all that I have done so far is of no use any more.... Helpless is not what I feel... I feel Numb...I am sick of trying...fixing...ignoring...understanding...adjusting.... contemplating.... reasoning.... feeling dumb....
Excruciatingly dead my brain does not want to go for a new start... how are things gonna take turns... I don't want to think... I will accept.. a faded memory recasts all the dreams I had... It feels like that distant rescue motor boat while you are drowning in the middle of the sea....
hails...cries...wails....damn you's....all going on in my head at the same time.... i want everyone around me to shut up.... and i want to lock myself up in a room... forget everything... like formatting my C: drive.... I dont mind an Alzheimer too.....
I am too young they say to feel all of this... but i cant deny the fact that I AM feeling this....and am not a teenager....
Let's see...................
Excruciatingly dead my brain does not want to go for a new start... how are things gonna take turns... I don't want to think... I will accept.. a faded memory recasts all the dreams I had... It feels like that distant rescue motor boat while you are drowning in the middle of the sea....
hails...cries...wails....damn you's....all going on in my head at the same time.... i want everyone around me to shut up.... and i want to lock myself up in a room... forget everything... like formatting my C: drive.... I dont mind an Alzheimer too.....
I am too young they say to feel all of this... but i cant deny the fact that I AM feeling this....and am not a teenager....
Let's see...................
